<—See that smile…it’s not real. This lady…is pissed, because once again, she got a sack full of shit presents for Christmas instead of something she could actually enjoy. Avoid fake-ass moments like this by listening to the cool cats up at Do512 who have comprised a list of awesome gift ideas and gift hookups for you and yours. Good god, we’re sweet.
Don’t you get a little frustrated every year when you get that stupid ornament or another set of pajamas? I mean, I know they’re cheap, but that doesn’t mean anyone wants a store’s entire selection of sleepwear. Not to mention super fuzzy socks…they’re like pseudo-slippers. Besides getting drunk and moonwalking in your kitchen, what are they good for? Gimme a break…I got an idea…
We’re helping you keep up your part of the deal by not only informing you about some pretty amazing deals from some of the finest establishments in Austin, but we are also giving you a chance to win anything from gift cards to boots. So pay attention!
You know what your family would really enjoy? They want to spend some time with you (well…maybe. If not, you could get rid of them with this present as well!) Highball is offering two party packages that will promise your family a night of fun, aaand they’re a crazy-awesome deal to boot. Highball is giving you karaoke, food and bowling for up to 6 people at half the regular price. We might give you one too, if you “like” this from our site!
Everyone needs to get a little drunk over Christmas. Ev.ery.one. Hit up one of our favorite spots, the Black Sheep Lodge, for a gift card. Not just any gift card, a 20 percent off gift card. It’s true! If you get a gift card between $25-$100, then you get 20 percent off. What a deal! Want an even sweeter deal? We’re giving away a $25 gift card just for “liking” this from our site!
If you like that idea, well guess what? Abel’s on the Lake is offering that same sweet deal so get on it! You could send your parents out to a romantic dinner on the lake…or get it for yourself. You can treat yourself for all of the awesome gift-giving that you did this year (thanks to US!) You might even win a $50 gift card from us...who knows?
Mmmmm….cooookiieess. If you’ve never had Tiff’s Treats cookies, then you’ve never experienced a cookie-gasm in your mouth. That’s right, when you eat their cookies you’re eating cookies that are also lovers having sex in your mouth. They’re already a great price and they have added a few holiday packages just for you! We want you to love them as much as we do, which is why we’re giving away a $50 gift card…hope you brought protection.
For the dudes in your life, Third Base has got you covered. It’s the perfect place for reasonably priced drinks, grub and sports. They like giving too, so much so that for every $25 gift card you buy, they’re going to give you five bucks. And for you “liking” this idea, we might give you a $25 gift card.
Got a significant other nagging you about new year’s plans? Well, we thought of that too. The parking lot at Kung Fu Saloon will transform into a tented and climate-controlled venue and will feature The Dan Band, and if you use the special Do512 promo code when you get your tickets, Kung Fu will give you 15 percent off. As if that wasn’t enough, we are also giving away a $50 gift card to the arcade-inspired saloon, so enter to win and have a night or two on us!
Inca Boots, as you can clearly see from that there picture, are pretty sweet. They also have sweet bags, and they’re also sweet people. Because they’re giving Do512 users $25 off. Do512 is sweet too, because we’re giving away a pair of their boots! Merry Christmas, you sexy, hip ladies!
Not to discriminate here, there’s a choice just for the dapper gents in your life too. Criquet’s Shirts are organic, yet manly. Practical, yet suave. If you don’t believe us, just watch their amazing video mini series here and get those guys in your life ready for whatever sport, challenge or stress life decides to throw at them this year. Well dressed men are a hot commodity you know. You could also win a free shirt for clicking I Like it. Don we now our freeeee apparel fa la la la la la la la la.
Last but certainly not least on our gift list is Natalie Portman’s tush. What? Read it again. Yes, Natalie (pronounced Nat – A – lee) Portman’s tush. Now the logistics of getting her actual tush not to mention how inappropriate that statement alone is should give you enough of an idea that we don’t mean HER actual bottom but a revised version of your own! With classes at the Bar Method, you can tone, tighten, lift and strengthen your lil muscles! Buy them as a Christmas/New Year’s treat for yourself or buy two for you and a friend! Boom boom boom yo tush is in the room!
If we find more deals about town, we’ll be sure to let you know about them. Step away from the musk of death vanilla scented gift sets! Just…step…away.