This Saturday, March 3rd, the Austin Convention Center will come alive once again with the unbridled ferocity of the Texas Rollergirls! If you’ve never been to a live roller derby match, now is your chance to hop on the bandwagon. And you must. It’s not an option, because this is literally THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HAPPENING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. In terms of fun, that is.
Let me break it down for you: roller derby features hot chicks on skates speeding around a track crashing into each other. Sounds fun right? I can almost hear the roar of the crowd, can almost feel the brimming excitement of the fans (trust me, roller derby has some hardcore followers). For those of you who are new to this and are thinking, “great, just what we need, a bunch of bimbos setting us back 50 years” – you couldn’t be more wrong! Roller derby is all about girl power, female ferocity and having fun. Their outfits are cute and spunky without bordering on the 1970’s porno flick get-ups you might expect from a sport involving girls on roller skates. No, these aren’t the girls mud wrestling in bikinis in the backyard of a frat bro named Ham Bone. These ladies are badass. Spend one night at the roller derby and you’ll be a fan for life.
Texas Rollergirls is an Austin league born and bred in the city of fun, entirely skater-owned and managed by the ladies who participate. The league is made up of four teams with the best names in the history of organized sports: the Hell Mary’s, Hotrod Honey’s, Honky Tonk Heartbreaker’s, and the Hustler’s. A fifth team, made up of all-star members from each of the four home teams, has my favorite name of all: the Texecutioner’s. Fun Fact: in 2006, the Texecutioner’s were crowned the WFTDA Champions of the first Flat Track National Tournament. The March 3rd bout will feature the Hell Mary’s vs. the Honky Tonk Heartbreaker’s, then the Hustler’s vs. the Hotrod Honey’s.
You and I both know you need no more convincing – I had you at “hot chicks on skates.” Buy your tickets now y’all, because they always sell out!